We always started by tellin' all our best stories first
So now that it's been awhile, I'll get around
To tellin' you all my worst
Just so you know what you signed up for
What you're dealin' with
Just so you know what you've been chosen to deserve

I'm the girl that you were chosen to deserve

I used to drink 'til I threw up on weeknights at my parents' house
My friends all took Benadryl
'Til they could see shit crawlin' up the walls
One of those times, my friend took a little too much
He had to get his stomach pumped
They took him over to the hospital
And told us he was lucky to survive

I'm the girl that you were chosen to deserve, ooh

I was out late, sneakin' into the neighborhood pool
Then I woke up early and taught at the Sunday school
If you're lookin' for me
I'm in the back of an SUV
Doin' it in some cul-de-sac
Underneath a dogwood tree

I'm the girl that you were chosen to deserve

I went to school about three days out of the week
Watered down all the liquor
And then pissed outside in the street
Now all the drugs are gettin' kinda borin' to me
Now everywhere is loneliness and it's in everything

Thank God that I was chosen to deserve you
'Cause I'm the girl that you were chosen to deserve