May I have your attention, please? May I have your attention, please? Will the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? I repeat Will the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? We're gonna have a problem here Y'all act like you never seen a white person before Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door And started whoopin' her ass worse than before They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (ah) It's the return of the: Oh, wait, no way, you're kiddin' He didn't just say what I think he did, did he? And Dr. Dre said Nothing, you idiots, Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha) Feminist women love Eminem Chicka-chicka-chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what Flippin' the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss And that's the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit fourth grade, they've got the Discovery Channel, don't they? We ain't nothin' but mammals Well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes Then, there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (nope) Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too You think I give a damn about a Grammy? Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me But, Slim, what if you win? Wouldn't it be weird? Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears Yo, shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first Little bitch put me on blast on MTV Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, heehee I should download her audio on MP3 And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (ah) I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me So I have been sent here to destroy you And there's a million of us just like me Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up I'm like a head trip to listen to 'Cause I'm only givin' you things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all I just get on the mic and spit it And whether you like to admit it (err), I just shit it Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can Then you wonder: How can kids eat up these albums like Valiums? It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm goin', when I'm thirty I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirtin' Pinchin' nurse's asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens And I'm jerkin', but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin' And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin' He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings Or in the parkin' lot, circlin', screamin': I don't give a fuck With his windows down and his system up So will the real Shady, please, stand up And put one of those fingers on each hand up? And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up Haha I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it Let's all stand up
May I have your attention, please? May I have your attention, please? Will the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? I repeat Will the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? We're gonna have a problem here Y'all act like you never seen a white person before Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door And started whoopin' her ass worse than before They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (ah) It's the return of the: Oh, wait, no way, you're kiddin' He didn't just say what I think he did, did he? And Dr. Dre said Nothing, you idiots, Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha) Feminist women love Eminem Chicka-chicka-chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what Flippin' the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss And that's the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit fourth grade, they've got the Discovery Channel, don't they? We ain't nothin' but mammals Well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes Then, there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (nope) Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too You think I give a damn about a Grammy? Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me But, Slim, what if you win? Wouldn't it be weird? Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears Yo, shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first Little bitch put me on blast on MTV Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, heehee I should download her audio on MP3 And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (ah) I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me So I have been sent here to destroy you And there's a million of us just like me Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up I'm like a head trip to listen to 'Cause I'm only givin' you things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all I just get on the mic and spit it And whether you like to admit it (err), I just shit it Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can Then you wonder: How can kids eat up these albums like Valiums? It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm goin', when I'm thirty I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirtin' Pinchin' nurse's asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens And I'm jerkin', but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin' And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin' He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings Or in the parkin' lot, circlin', screamin': I don't give a fuck With his windows down and his system up So will the real Shady, please, stand up And put one of those fingers on each hand up? And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitatin' So won't the real Slim Shady, please, stand up? Please, stand up Please, stand up Haha I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it Let's all stand up
A canção foi escrita apressadamente por Eminem, Dr. Dre, Tommy Coster e Mike Elizondo nas horas finais antes do prazo limite para a entrega do álbum The Marshall Mathers LP, atendendo ao pedido de Jimmy Iovine da Interscope Records de ter uma faixa para introduzir o disco.
O refrão da música foi projetado por Eminem para imitar o som de uma motosserra ligando, replicando o aumento súbito de ritmo e o salto de tom característicos do motor da máquina ao entrar em funcionamento.
A letra faz uma crítica direta aos pop stars da época, provocando a ira de Christina Aguilera ao sugerir que ela praticava sexo oral em Fred Durst e Carson Daly, e de Chris Kirkpatrick do NSYNC, que chamou Eminem de "bully" após uma coreografia na videoclipe.
A faixa garantiu a Eminem seu primeiro primeiro lugar no Reino Unido, tornou-se a 14ª música mais vendida de 2000 nesse país e venceu o Grammy de Melhor Performance Rap Solo, além de dois prêmios MTV Video Music Awards.
A estrutura do refrão parodia a frase de abertura do programa de quiz To Tell the Truth ("Will the real ______ please stand up?"), adaptada para desafiar os imitadores da persona Slim Shady.
Eminem sátiriza o rap "limpo" comercializado de Will Smith e seu discurso nos VMAs, declarando explicitamente "So fuck him, and fuck you too", expandindo um diss anterior feito no vídeo de "Forgot About Dre" de Dr. Dre.
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