Dear slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn you must not have got them
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'

Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, f it, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma
Name her Bonnie

I read about your uncle ronnie too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground stuff that you did with scam

I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the stuff you did with ruckus too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat
Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is stan

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey with your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear slim, you still ain't called or wrote
I hope you have the chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's messed up you don't answer fans
If you didn't want to talk to me outside the concert
You didn't have to
But you could have signed an autograph for matthew
That's my little brother, man, he's only 6 years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you for 4 hours
And you just said no
That's pretty crummy man, you're like his favourite idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do

I ain't that mad, though I just don't like bein' lied to
Remember when we met in denver? You said if I write you
You would write back, see, I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her

I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs
So when I have a crummy day, I drift away and put 'em on
Cause I don't really got shit else, so that shit helps
When I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you
'Cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you, slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up
You've gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan
You'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, stan, ps: We should be together too

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey with your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear mr I'm too good to call or write my fans
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word
I don't deserve it
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect

So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway, hey slim I drank
A 5th a vodca dare me to drive? You know that song by phil collins in
The air in the night about that guy who could've saved that other guy
From drowning but didn't and phil saw it all and at his show he found
Him that's kinda how this is you could've rescued me from drowning
But it's too late I'm on a thousand downers now I'm drowsy and all I
Wanted was a lousy letter or a call I hope you know I ripped all your
Pictures off the wall I loved you slim, we could have been together
Think about it, you ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See slim, {screaming} shut up bitch, I'm trying to talk
Hey slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk
But I didn't slit her throat
I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more
Then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shoo, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this tape out?

My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey with your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flatterd you'd call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for your brother: I wrote it
On the starter cap

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must have missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you
But what's this stuff you said about you
Like to cut your wrists too?
I say that stuff just clownin' dog
C'mon, how messed up is you?
You got some issues, stan, I think you need some counselin'
To help your ass from bouncin' off the
Walls when you get down some

And what's this junk about us meant to be together?
That type of crap'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter
I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'd be doin' just fine
If you'd relax a little, I'm glad that I inspire you, but stan
Why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want
You as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy bit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago
That made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk and she was
Pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape but it didn't say who
It was to
Come to think about it, his name was– it was you
Damn