(Hey) Hey ladies in the place, I'm callin' out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
There's more to me than you'll ever know
And I got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman, or Tom Foolery
Date women on TV with the help of Chuck Woolery
Words flowin' out just like the Grand Canyon
And I'm always out lookin' for a female companion
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
I took off her moccasins and put on the bib
Wheelin' and dealin', I make a little bit of a stealin'
I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peelin'
Your body's on time and your mind is appealin'
Starin' at the cracks up there up on the ceilin'
Such and such will be the bass that I'm throwin'
I'm talking to a girl, telling her I'm all-knowing
Well, she's talking to the kid (who to the kid)
I'm telling her every lie that you know that I never did

Hey ladies, get funky
All the ladies in the house
The ladies, the ladies

Well, me in the corner with a good-lookin' daughter
I dropped my drawers and said: Welcome back Kotter
We was cuttin' up the rug, she started cuttin' up the carpet
In my apartment, I begged her please stop it
The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl ain't nothin' but a crab
Educated: no, stupid: yep
And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh
I'm not James At 15 or Chachi in charge
I'm Adam, and I'm adamant about livin' large
With the white sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville
I met a little cutie, she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie, but I kicked her in the booty
Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around
You be listenin' to my records', a number one sound
Step, step to the rhythm, step, step to the rhyme
I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside
Tune in, turn on, to my tune that's live
Ladies flock like bees to a hive

Hey ladies, get funky
Hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies
Girls, girls
Hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies
One more time, ain't it funky now
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies
Ain't it funky now (You know that)

She's got a gold tooth, you know she's hardcore
She'll show you a good time, then she'll show you the door
Break up with your girl, it ended in tears
Vincent van Gogh, go and mail that ear
I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinkin'
The phone booth on the corner is damp, and it's stinkin'
She said come on over, it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window 'cause you know I got dissed
Your old lady left you, and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 Train
Well, take my advice at any price
A gorilla like your mother is mighty weak, man
Suckin' down pints 'til I didn't know
Woke up in the morning with the Won Ton Ho
'Cause I announce, I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
Girls with curls, and big long locks
And beatnik chicks, just wearing their smocks
Walkin' high and mighty like she's number one
She thinks she's the passionate one

Hey ladies, get funky
What's that?
Good god
Good god, dance
Good god
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Ain't it funky, brother?
He, ha, ha, ha
Hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies
Hey, hey, ladies